BIDEN THE "BLOVIATOR" HAS LOTS TO SAY
AS HE READIES HIS RUN FOR THE WHITE HOUSE

By now you've probably read about the senator from Delaware's description of boma boma O'Bama in Biden's interview by Jason Horowitz in the New York Observer. Get this -- Biden says O'Bama is "the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy."

Okay, by his own admission, Biden admits to a tendency to bloviate.

Well, Mr. Bloviator, I think you did more than that. Haven't you learned anything from your ill-fated run for president in 1988 that from the time you announce your run for the Ovals, everything that comes out of your mouth becomes a quotable sound byte?

In just one single sentence, you probably turned off every well-meaning, articulate registered voter in this country who is African American. There just went 15% of the voters in the United States. Bye Bye Mr. Bloviator.

Oh, and incidentally, the Bloviator pulled out of his bid for the White House in 1988 because of some little problems with plagiarism.

So how can he be a bloviator and a minimizer at the same time?

He summed up his opinions about all the Democratic presidential candidates with this little power speech: "They may be politically right, and I may be politically wrong. But I believe I am substantively right, and their substantive approaches are not very deep and will not get us where I want to go."

Huh?

Is he a lawyer too?

Well, it turns out that he is. He graduated from the Syracuse University College of Law in 1968 and practiced law in Wilmington, Delaware, before beginning his illustrious congressional career, following a brief stint at local politics -- city/county council or something like that.

Oh yes -- the Bloviator has something to say about all his opponents. More about that later.

What a guy!

P.S. Bloviate is a compound of the word "blow" -- as in "to boast" -- or what we, here in America call "blowhard." And since Americans are also great language-lifters, we give it a fake Latin ending -- kind of makes it very self-important. (World Wide Words)

I like another word that is a synonym of "bloviate." That is, absquatulate. That's a far better word for mega-squats to be using. But then, I can think of another word that rhymes with absquatulate.

Just sit down and be quiet, Joe.

###

HASTERT RECUPERATING FROM SURGERY

Dennis Hastert, former speaker of the house, is recuperating from surgery for removal of his gall bladder at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago.

Hastert represents the 14th congressional district in Chicago's western suburbs. He is expected to make a full recovery.

source: Associated Press

###

CUT YOUR HEATING BILLS WAY DOWN

It may not sound like much but cutting your thermostat back to 60 degrees at night and no higher than 68 degrees during the day makes a huge difference in the money you spend for heating.

For instance, this current bill we have is for the coldest month so far this year -- is $68.77. That compares to the coldest month last year when we weren't making any thermostat adjustments when the bill was $123.83.

Quite a savings, wouldn't you say?

Our plants are thriving quite nicely too. But then plants like cool temperatures unless they're zinnias and daisies and other summer crops.

So we put on a sweater if it gets a tad chilly. And we no longer run around in bare feet. Slippers do quite nicely to keep our little piggies warm until it's time to tuck them into bed.

If you have cold feet when you get to bed -- here's a trick: take a couple of bath towels and throw them in the drier for about five minutes. Take the towels out and fold them in half, then roll them up. (As if you were making a bedroll.) Put the nice warm towels between the sheets where your feet go. Then, when you get into bed, just listen to your cute little toes sing your praises!

Another thing you can do is to make sure the putty around the windows is nice and uncracked. Okay, so now is not the time to go outside and recaulk or putty your windows. What you can do though is fold up some newspapers and put in between the window and storm window to give you a bit of insulation to get you through the coldest months until spring.
 
When we were kids, mom would crumple up newspapers and push them against any cracks that were letting air in. Made the windows fairly airtight and it fit her meager, stretched-too-far budget. You can get out there in the spring and do a more complete job of weather-proofing your windows, but this will work as a temporary measure.

While you're standing there by the windows, go ahead and lock them if you haven't already. That will make sure they're closed nice and tight. It'll keep the therm thieves out of your house -- at least from the windows.

Oh yes, remember the dust problem? Get your handy dandy little feather duster -- or if you have a Swifit, that works really good. Then go around to all the heating ducts and get the dust out. Give the cold air return a really good going over too.

You want as much warm air coming through those ducts as possible. Dust gets in the way. Don't block the air flow with big clunky pieces of furniture either -- or drapes and curtains.

Stay warm. And you can save money while you're doing it too.

###

THE AL FRANKEN SHOW BITES THE DUST

And Air America is going bankrupt.

Franken's last show will be February 14. In a Wikipedia article that was revised January 29, 2007, Al Franken was supposedly asked to leave the show "due to it's [sic] unpopularly held beliefs."

So now the comedian -- who got to fame and fortune as a writer for Saturday Night Live, is thinking about running for the U.S. Senate from Minnesota. He ought to feel right at home with all the little mini-presidents.

Not only that but he'll give Rush Limbaugh comic material until the cows come home -- back home to Minnesota, that is.

He has a couple of books that keep the moolah flowing in to him -- one is Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot and Other Observations and Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right, and The Truth (with jokes).

A web site -- www.frankenlies.com -- takes a look at some of Franken's "truths" and disputes them.

If you're a Franken fan, you've just two weeks left to bow properly.

###

THE REAL SKINNY ON THE TUNA INDUSTRY AND THE
FEDERAL MINIMUM WAGE

American Samoa is where the tuna processing plant belonging to DelMonte is located.

DelMonte is owned by StarKist Tuna.

StarKist Tuna is located in Nancy Pelosi's home district in California.

There were lots of tsks tsks tsks when The Hill learned that American Samoa tuna workers were going to be exempted from the federal minimum wage rate that was proposed to go up to $7+.

It didn't get the blessings of the senators so the proposed new wage package is kind of out of commission right now.

The point is, Susan Crabtree over at The Hill brings some enlightenment to the whole story that, on first glance, baked Pelosi in inuendo.

The truth is American Samoa has had exemptions to the federal minimum wage acts since all the way back to 1956. And folks, there have been lots of switching back and forth as far as who was in power on any given congressional clock.

And during all that time, only one DelMonte employee has ever donated money to a political campaign -- and that was $500 which was donated to a Republican -- Brian Bilbray of California.

There has been some $18,000 donated to PACS, party committees and candidates in the last three elections -- $13,000 of which went to Republicans.
 
Okay, so DelMonte employees aren't political high rollers, but how about StarKist? Does Charlie the Tuna grease the wheels of congress?

###

AW -- SOMEONE OUGHT TO HELP THESE NUNS OUT

It started out as a great idea for the 55 sisters of the Saints Kirikos and Ioulitis monastery in the town of Sidirokastro.  

Buy a knitting machine and make warm things for people.

The problem is they started going into debt. Deeper and deeper and deeper.

Finally, they became nuns on the run.

Reuters say they ran up $777,000 in debt before they sought sanctuary at another monastery. Now they're in hiding even though the Church of Greece has offered to help them pay off their debts if they'll just come out of hiding.

Well, the Greek Church may have the money to help but it doesn't look like they've figured out how to help the nuns not feel shame. And all because they couldn't keep their little knitting company running as a profitable, going concern.

Cost accounting is a tough concept -- even for seasoned accountants. The nuns probably didn't get any accounting courses when they were going to school so it would have been very difficult for them to run a competitive business.

###

IF YOU'RE GOING TO PARIS THIS SUMMER --

And I know at least a few of you are planning European summer vacations or summer educational jaunts for 2007.

In a story filed with Associated Press, the City Hall in Paris says it's going to follow the example set by Amsterdam and make thousands of bicycles available to commuters, strollers and tourists.

That is, until the 14,100 bikes are used up.

That ought to help out with traffic jams along the Champs Elysees.

###

TALK'S CHEAP -- IT TAKES MONEY TO BUY VOTES

Campaign reform -- by way of lobbying rules change and PAC money distribution changes seems to have gotten some window dressing changes late in the 109th Congress.

Since I'm either a cynic or a contrarian, I have little faith that any real reform will take place. I think that by this time next election, we're still going to be yammering about the need for campaign reform.

But maybe not.

The grass roots are sprouting again.

In Aaron Blake's blog on The Hill, there is a group of conservative bloggers who have decided to withhold campaign contributions to any Republican senator who votes against Bush's plan to surge the military presence in Iraq.

Same goes for donations to the National Republican Senatorial Committee.

The campaign was organized by Hugh Hewitt, the internet-wide townhall address on the information superhighway (www.townhall.com). Hewitt says that the troops and the war trump partisan politicans. He's sending a message to senators that if they vote for Senator John Warner's (R-Va) resolution, it's a deal breaker that means no campaign contributions and also no more volunteering for the re-election campaigns of senators who don't support the president/commander in chief/soldiers in the field.

So far, Hewitt has 10,000 signatories pledged to his point of view.

Even if that amounted to $10 each, that would be $100,000 that would be withheld. But what if it means $100 each, then it would amount to $1 million. Now we're talking real money.

Oh, the internet -- that bastion of instantness. No longer do journalists have to wait for the printing press -- or the delivery trucks. Nope -- in the length of time that it takes to type an article and hit the "publish to the web" button, the message is out there for anyone who's interested to read it.

###

SO WHO CLEANED UP THEIR MESS?

Never mind -- I think I can guess.

These are the war protestors who were allowed -- in the name of the 1st Amendment's Right to Freedom of Speech -- to express themselves.

Problem is, they decided to spray paint their messages on the Capitol Building. According to Jackie Kucinich, writing on The Hill, the protestors sprayed "our capitol building" and "you can't stop us."

Isn't that like defacing a government building or something?

Police in the Capitol had baricades in place but the expressionists breached the barricades and the police officers were told to stand down.

Where in the world did the protestors/expressionists/anarchists ever get the idea that the Capitol Building was theirs?

Doesn't it belong to all of us as our seat of governmental power?

Don't we let those congressional people just use those offices from one election to the next?

The trash/messages were cleaned up almost immediately by the Capitol staff -- some of whom came in on their day off to do it.

I'd like to know when those people think their right to express themselves overrides the rights of law-abiding citizens of this country who want government buildings free of defacing graffiti! 

I'd also like to know if Cindy Sheehan was in that crowd of 300 protestors who stormed the barricades.

And Jane Fonda was also in town making her self-proclaimed wonderful speeches to her masses. Was she one of the 300?

So much for your apologies to the American people, Janie.

###

ARE YOU LIVING HEALTHY?

Cooking Light recently compared the living habits of 1,072 adults all across the country. These adults are the ones who successfully take actions every day to improve their health. Well, they aren't the only ones but they responded to the survey. So they're the ones who got counted.

Here's the results of their eating habits:
70% drink lower fat milk instead of whole milk
59% eat chicken with the skin removed
54% take vitamins
52% use lower fat alternatives when cooking
51% read nutrition labels on food

Fitness findings:
6% get 30 minutes of exercise a day
22% exercise three or four times a week
19% walk or bike instead of taking transportation
41% take the stairs whenever possible
33% regularly park their cars farther from the door to get in extra walking

Healthy outlook:
67% recognize that making small, healthy improvements today add up to big benefits later
76% are satisfied with their mental and emotional well-being
45% are satisfied with their body weight
58% are satisfied with their stress level

source: www.cookinglight.com

###

HOSPITAL-CAUSED INFECTIONS?

The last thing you should have to worry about when you go to the hospital is getting an infection while you're there.

Wouldn't you think that the people who work in the medical profession would know all about how to prevent infections. After all, aren't they the experts on germs?

Well, that's what Governor Edward G. Rendell of Pennsylvania thinks. He's calling for an immediate reform that will protect patients when they check into a hospital. He points to the VA Pittsburgh Healthcare System as a national leader in curbing such infections.

The infections are know as hospital-acquired infections (HAIs). They frequently attack the urinary tract, surgical wounds, bloodstream and lower respiratory tracts of patients. In Pennsylvania, these infections account for 2,478 deaths out of the total reported 19,154 HAIs. It also adds additional charges of $3.5 billion and jumps up the mortality rate to 12.9%, as compared to 2.3% for a hospital stay without an HAI.

The highly prevalent source of an HAI is staphylococcus. And guess what? Staph bacteria lives on our skin. Improved hygiene will go a long, long way in getting staph off your hands. Just splashing your hands under the faucet is not good enough. It's better than nothing, but to really get those little stinky germs off your hands, a good soaping is what you need -- then rinse your hands really good and down the drain they go!

source: www.prnewswire.com

###

HOW CREDIT CARD COMPANIES PLAY "GOTCHA!"

First of all, the credit card companies lure you into low interest, sometimes even no interest, balance transfers. In some cases, it may be okay. Or at least the lesser of two evils if you use a balance transfer to pay off a horrifically high credit card balance with a high interest finance charge.

If you do a balance transfer at, say 0% interest, then under no circumstances should you use that same card to charge anything. Not even for a $10 item.

If you make any charges whatsoever, you will end up with a credit card with two different balances, and you'll be paying two different finance charge rates.

So what's the big deal, you may ask.

Here's the rub. All of your monthly payment will be applied to reducing the no interest balance. Not one penny will be applied to reducing the $10 balance. In fact, the $10 balance will have an interest rate applied to it that will actually increase that portion of your balance. There's not going to be a reduction in the $10 balance until the entire zero percent interest balance is paid off.

By that time, your $10 balance is going to become bloated with those monthly additions of finance charges.

And yes, it's legal. It's part of the credit card agreement that came with your new card. Problem is, it's in the mouse print size type that very few people read.

You should. For your own protection.

Another way that credit card companies are becoming part of the growing super rich companies is by collecting late fees. By the time all the books are closed for 2006, there is an expectation that credit card penalty fees will amount of $17.1 billion dollars!

That's an increase of 906% from what these companies collected in 1996, according to CNN senior money writer, Jeanne Sahadi.

That late fee can be as much as $35 whether you're a day or a week or a month late.

But beware. Credit card companies are now contemplating a new change in the terms of their agreements with many consumers.

This has to do with the consumers who are fortunate enough to be able to pay off their balances each month.

The credit card companies are thinking about charging those who pay off their monthly balances an annual fee. Not sure how much it might be.

But be warned. If you get an envelope from your credit card company that says something like Important Changes in Terms of Your Agreement, read it even if you have to use a magnifying glass. And if you don't understand what it means even after you wade through the legal mumbo jumbo, call the credit card service department and make someone explain it to you.

All this information has come to light as a result of the Senate Banking Committee's hearings chaired by Senator Christopher Dodd, the chairman.

My suggestion to any of you who do not get a satisfactory explanation from the credit card customer service person, contact the Senate Banking Committee or send an e-mail to Senator Dodd's staff.

You can do this fairly easily by going to www.senator.gov -- then find Senator Dodd -- eventually you will find a tab that will let you contact Senator Dodd and there will be an e-mail form for you to fill out.

I'm certain that one of his administrative persons will somehow get your e-mail into his stack of highlighted notes. He doesn't sound happy with the way the credit card companies are conducting their business.

###  

TOYOTA MOTOR CORP. RECALLS 533,000 VEHICLES

There are a whole bunch of people out there who actually believe that Detroit can't make a good car. They say that only the Japanese can do it right.

To prove their opinion is correct, they point to the fact that the Japanese carmakers never have to recall cars.

Well, listen up.

The Japanese carmakers are not required to issue recalls. Not like Detroit is required to do.

But lo and behold, yesterday, in an article published by Reuters, Toyota says it will be recalling 533,000 SUV's and Tundra trucks to repair faulty components that could make the vehicles difficult to steer.

Now is that a safety hazard or not?

Just imagine going down the expressway at 90 mph and have your steering wheel quit working right.

Do you think you'd do a barrel roll, or an end-over-end flippy thing, or just steer off into the median and get bogged down in the mud?

Last year, Toyota recalled more than a million vehicles in Japan and 760,000 vehicles in the United States.

The vehicles in question in this latest recall are the 2004 to 2007 Sequoias and 2004 to 2006 year Tundras.

Just want to point that out to all the people who like to tease Quint and me for faithfully buying only American made vehicles, specifically Fords, which have never let us down in the near thirty-years of marriage.

Go Ford!

source: Reuters

###

SOME REPUBLICANS SAY THEY'RE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT TOO

The GOP field is getting crowded now.

Here are the hopefuls who want the Oval Office:

Rep. Duncan Hunter, 14 term congressman from California -- used to be chairman of the House Armed Services Committee until the Democrats took control of the House. He was an Army Ranger in Vietnam. His son has spent two 7-month tours in Iraq. He worked his way through law school doing construction and farming jobs. He just announced his candidacy.

Sen. John McCain of Arizona

Sen. Sam Brownback of Kansas

Mitt Romney, former Massachusetts governor

and Rudy Giuliani, for mayor of New York City

source: Associated Press

###

SEEMS LIKE A CONSTITUTIONAL CLASH COMING FOR BUSH AND CONGRESS

President Bush says today, "I'm the decision maker."

He was referring to sending more troops to Iraq.

He was referring to being the Commander in Chief.

He quickly dispatched his newly appointed U.S. Commander Army Lt. General David Petraeus to Iraq. He told his new army guy to "Get to the zone ... and implement a plan that will achieve our goals."

I am certainly not an expert military strategist. I would not want to be in Bush's position. But then, I wouldn't have wanted to be in Harry Truman's position either when he deliberated how to best end the war in the Pacific. I would not have wanted to be in Abraham Lincoln's position when the Battle of Gettysburg was raging.

I'm a big cry baby. I want every man and woman who is over there in the Middle East to come back home safe and sound. Preferably today.

Those are the peeps I'd like to see run for congress and get on the military committees.

And if they need shadows to guard their backs, and more money to keep their rifles filled up with bullets, then let's do everything we can to give them everything -- and I mean everything -- that they need to be protected.

And yes, even comfortable. It's okay for them to have a mat to sleep on. That is, when they are able to get some sleep.

###

IT'S NOT EASY BEING GREEN -- ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE AUNT NANCY'S ENTOURAGE TO IRAQ

The Mayor of Maybeville has landed in Baghdad -- and included in her entourage are Rep. Tom Lantos, (D-San Mateo), chairman of the House Foreign Affairs Committee; Rep. Ike Skelton, (D-Mo), chairman of the House Armed Services Committee; and Rep. John Murtha (D-Pa), chairman of the appropriations subcommittee that oversees the military budget.

I guess they didn't take any staff people. At least none were mentioned.

However, what strikes me is that it's not exactly a bipartisan entourage. Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't there a lot of promises about "reaching across the aisle?" Or did I misunderstand what Aunt Nancy was talking about?

###

MORE ABOUT JOHN KERRY NOT RUNNING

It isn't so much that he has pulled out of the presidential run for the White House -- but that he has $13 million left from the last time he ran.

That's it. Just a curiosity. Bet we wont' be seeing any John Kerry War Museum under construction in Massachusetts.

Kerry says he's going to concentrate on bringing the troops home instead.

source: www.politico.com

###

HERE'S AN IDEA FOR USING UP ALL THAT LEFTOVER CASH FROM CAMPAIGNS

The more I have thought about it, the more I realize how greedy politicians really are.

I mean -- here they are, running around begging us for money. They say they need millions to mount a viable campaign.

Then there's this relatively new law that lets them convert unused campaign funds to their own little political action committees (PACs).

All the while, there are homeless people in this country, living on the threshold of hunger. There are families living in missions with very bright children who have no place to sit down and do homework.

There are food pantries with near-empty or empty shelves.

In other words, there are many, many, many programs out there that are a lot needier than a politician who has a net worth in excess of a million dollars. The only time they even come in contact with poverty is during photo opportunities when they're on the campaign trail.

So here's my idea -- when they get done with their campaign, take all the leftover money and either contribute to a program for the poor that already exists or start a program somewhere in their district.

But under no circumstances ought they be allowed to keep the money for themselves or their own little political action committee fifedoms.

The point is, people donate to political campaigns because they believe that they are helping a candidate get elected.

Tell me honestly -- would you donate to a candidate if they said to you, "I've already collected so much money I'll have a ton of money left over that I'll eventually put into my own little PAC?"

Probably not!

But get this -- not only did the senate refuse to pass the federal minimum wage bill this week, but they also ignored a really big part of the reform package. That is, spouses can still be lobbyists.

Gee -- do you think that if the spouses are lobbying, somehow that PAC money becomes available to them? 

The problem is, when the politicians get ahold of your money, they keep it. Even if they don't use it for their campaigns, they keep all the money. Somehow.

So much for campaign reform.

I personally am of the opinion that PACs ought to be eliminated altogether. That would be a start in the right direction.

###

BREAKING NEWS -- SENATE REFUSES TO PASS MINIMUM WAGE LAW

Just keep in mind that these are the self-righteous potentates who are running around saying that the Republicans are the ones who are not the friends of the poor and the middle class.

These are the mighty and wonderful senators who all think they would be a better president -- if only the voters would let them at the White House -- than whoever happens to occupy the Oval Office.

The problem is -- the voters just won't give them a chance at the job.

But they keep running anyway.

Now comes word this afternoon that the senate has refused to pass the legislation that Aunt Nancy sent over from the other end of the building.

Not quite sure what's going on in the senate but it doesn't look like they're going to be happy unless there are provisions (special favors) that would allow for tax breaks for restaurants and other businesses that have to hire cheap laborers.

So if the lawmakers give special dispensations to all the companies who want tax breaks why have a new law at all?

Oh, and another thing --

SENATOR JOHN KERRY SAYS HE'S NOT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT. Do you think that maybe Miss Pickle wouldn't give him any money to play political war games with? Maybe she secretly told him to stay out of New Hampshire. And Iowa too.

Maybe he's been banished to Maybeville?

###

REFORM BILL GETS SOME LAST MINUTE TINKERING

Just when I thought I ought to start showing a bit more respect for the politicos in Maybeville, they start acting like mega-squats again.

Those sneaky little so-and-sos!

They tried to put a two year extension into the much-touted reform package that would take pensions away from crooked, convicted, evil, dishonest congresspersons who get piggy fat off the hard work of the voters back home.

Where do they get their nerve?!!

If all had gone the way of the 2-year proviso that was inserted at the last minute, then the House measure would have matched the Senate measure.

But aha! Somebody was looking.

Somebody even accused the mega-squats of writing the change on a napkin . The change moved the effective date from January 1, 2009, back to its original date of January 1, 2007.

Then there was the parliamentarian debate of rules nitpicking because the change back to the 2007 effective date was thrown in at the last minute and disregarded floor debate.

And then a freshperson tried to move the measure while the debate rules were in suspension. That way, the bill would move quickly back to the Senate, presumably for closure.

But wait -- not so fast there. Let's talk about fairness. Clearly the American people believe that a congressperson who is convicted of a felony because he or she abuses the power of the office ought to most certainly not be given a pension for life.

And believe me, those pensions are the envy of every working man and woman in the country.

Nice try, no cigar. The attempt at adding a two year delay got pulled and the legislation got passed.

So, as it stands now, if you're a crooked congressperson and you get convicted, you don't get to keep your pension. As of January 1, 2007, your pension is doomed!

'Bout time.

I'd just like to know what happened to that $90,000 in cash that was stashed in the representative from Louisiana's office refrigerator in The Capitol. That can't possibly be stamp money. Congress allows special stamp provisions, called franking to Congress members.

I love the internet. It's going to be the catalyst that will finally make government transparent. There are eyes everwhere watching everything. Even congress is coming under very close scrutiny.

source: www.thehill.com

###

IF WEBSITE CLICKS WERE VOTES, THE HILLARY WOULD BE TRAILING

Boma Boma O'bama is getting 12% of the surfer hits coming off the www.senate.gov site -- comparing to Hillary's mere 7%.

Good thing for Hillary those hits aren't votes. She had been at a stagnant 4% until she threw her hat into the presidential ring last weekend.

Republicans aren't doing any better. McCain and Boxer -- a this and a that -- are tied at 2%. Thought you were more populaire, didn't you?

Then there's Beetlebomb Kerry -- like the tired old racehorse, he gives a very poor showing of 1%. He ties with other one percenters -- Senators Joe Biden, Chris Dodd and Sam Brownback.

It's still very early in the game, folks. What do we have -- 21 months to go?

I'm bored already.

source: www.thehill.com

###

LET ME VISUALIZE THIS

According to USA Today, a police officer used his cruiser to pull an arrested woman's belongings for twelve miles.

Her belongings were in a shopping cart so I'm guessing the woman in Bradenton, Florida, was homeless.

So the officer towed her shopping cart a total of twelve miles to the jail.

Does that look like a cartoon or what?

The officer got reassigned to desk duty for a while.

He wasn't, by any chance, working undercover with the Reno 911 officers, was he? Those characters have their own feature-length movie coming out but it's not due to be released until late in February.

Can't wait for that one.

Maybe the Brandenton cop could move to Reno and join the Reno Sheriff's Department.

###

AND THE RICH GET RICHER!

Political Money Line reports that Former Representative Joe Kennedy's political action committee -- Citizens for Joe Kennedy 1988 -- has a balance of $2,043,712!

Wow!

Can you believe that income from investments in just the last quarter of 2006 came to $90,266. The account was started in July 2001 when he converted his campaign fund into a political action committee.

Did you know that politicians can do that?

Apparently there was $1.6 million left over from his 1988 campaign that he didn't spend.

That's a nice chunk of change to start a PAC with.

So let's all go run for something and raise a lot of money. Then after a couple of years, just convert the campaign money to our very own political action committee. I'll bet the rules are less stringent for those committees than they are for candidates.

My political action committee would be called the Committee for Honest Congress, or CoFoHoCo, because it rhymes with Yoko Ono. We could have Beatles music playing all the time on our corporate bicycle.

###

OKAY -- SO AUNT NANCY GOT HER SIX INITIATIVES PASSED WELL UNDER THE HOPED FOR 100 HOURS -- SO NOW WHAT HAPPENS?

As I mentioned in an earlier blog, all but two of those initiatives don't just automatically become law just because the House says so.

They have that whole bunch of mini-presidents over on the Senate side of the building to contend with.

For instance, the House said there ought to be a law about all those politicians flying around on corporate jets. That would be mostly when they're campaigning or when they fly back to their districts or fly somewhere else on vacation/junket spots as long as they're claiming to be doing the work of the U.S. government.

I still, for the life of me, can't figure out why Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada felt like it was government business to fly down to Peru to look at old ruins in hopes of discovering something about their security system.

Anyway, the Senate -- probably feeling some groundswell heat from voters -- passed it's own version of the travel bill.

The Senate ethics bill says any candidate for federal office will have to pay jet owners the charter cost of flying on those really nice, posh private jets -- not first class, which is considerably lower.

Naturally, the Senate exempted themselves if they own their own planes or their spouses do.

So I think I see where this is headed. There's going to be a lot of campaign money being used to buy their own jets. They'll probably get them at way under fair market value from companies that are cleaning out their jet closets.

Maybe they ought to pass legislation about that too, while they're at it.

They're a sneaky bunch. You can bet they'll figure out a way around it.

Here's my thought: make all the candidates and congress people fly commercial planes. I'll bet a whole bunch of things would start to happen.

First of all, they would somehow figure out how to make those TSA people get the lines moving just a bit faster. And maybe there wouldn't need to be five checkpoints at big, international airports.

It would give congressional people a new appreciation for what us regular, plain old folks have to contend with when it comes to scheduling our trips.

Oh, the great wailing and gnashing of teeth that would be heard all the way from  the Potomac to another big wind -- this one on the left coast -- the Santa Ana. 

But think of the positives for the candidates. It would give them a great opportunity to reconnect with the constituents -- that is, us voters.

Now wouldn't you feel safer if half the plane was loaded up with Secret Service guarding those highly exalted candidates who have an overblown view of their personal wonderfulness?

Stay tuned. The Senate version and House version of this one bill aren't exactly alike. They'll have to iron out some differences and see what the compromise bill looks like.

Fortunately, there aren't any earmarks added in. I think everybody's watching for those little pet piggy-pork projects that used to get slipped into bills. Earmarks that had nothing to do, for instance, with the travel/etchics bill.

Then, if the lawmakers really wanted the kiss of death for any bill, they could always add in a line item veto provision. That would be the end of that bill.

It's called gridlock. And the Senators say, "If you don't like that, we'll just filibuster it to death. Either way, you'll be sorry for messing with us."

And you just know there's a web site that keeps track of what all these people are spending: www.politicalmoneyline.com.
 
###

AND THE NOMINEES ARE ...

The Associated Press covered the list of Oscar nominees for the 79th annual run for the gold.

For best picture: Babel, The Departed, Letters from Iwo Jima, Little Miss Sunshine and The Queen.

For best actor: Leonardo DiCaptrio, Blood Diamond; Ryan Gosling, Half Nelson; Peter O'Toole, Venus; Will Smith, The Pursuit of Happyness; and Forest Whitaker, The Last King of Scotland.

For best actress: Penelope Cruz, Volver; Judy Dench, Notes on a Scandal; Helen Mirren, The Queen; Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada; and Kate Winslet, Little Children.

For supporting Actor: Alan Arkin, Little Miss Sunshine; Jackie Earle Haley, Little Children; Djimon Hounsou, Blood Diamond; Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls; and Mark Wahlberg, The Departed.

For supporting Actress: Adriana Barraza, Babel; Cate Blanchett, Notes on a Scandal; Abigail Breslin, Little Miss Sunshine; Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls; and Rinko Kikuchi, Babel.
 
What surprises me is who's not and what's not.

For instance, I don't see Brad Pitt nominated anywhere even though Babel got the nod in other categories.

I don't see Jack Nicholson for The Departed. But then, Jack has won so many times that maybe the Academy might have thought it was someone else's turn. But that isn't what "best actor" is supposed to be, is it?

I was surprised that Dreamgirls wasn't at least nominated for Best Picture, although it was nominated in other categories. But then, do musicals get nominated for best picture? Seems like the Academy likes other genres.

Don't know. I'm certainly not an expert.

We're not done with Borat yet. Sacha Baron Cohen and his buddies -- Anthony Hines, Peter Baynham, Dan Mazer and Todd Phillips got the nod for Best Adapted Screenplay. They'll be competing with Alfonso Cuaron, Timothy J. Sexton, David Arata, Mark Fergus and Hawk Ostby for Children of Men; William Monahan, The Departed; Todd Field and Tom Perrotta, Little Children; and Patrick Marber, Notes on a Scandal.

go to this web site for the complete listing:

http://apnews.myway.com

###

THANK YOU, ALICE STUBBE, FOR ENLIGHTENING US!

I always knew -- or at least suspected -- that Texans were smart -- but I had no idea until you sent me this:

After having dug to the depth of 1000 meters last year,  Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had telephone networks more than 1000 years ago.

  Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed, English scientist dug to a depth of 2000 meters and shortly after headlines in the UK newspapers read:

  "English archaeologists have found traces of 2000 year copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a thousand years earlier than the Scots."

  One week later, Texas newspapers reported the following:

  "After digging as deep as 5000 meters in West Texas, Texas Aggie scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have therefore concluded that 5000 years ago Texas inhabitants were already using wireless technology."

UNBELIEVABLE ARTWORK!

Do yourself a favor and check out this website. This fellow is an incredible artist and what he can do with a can of spray paint!

It's a little over eight minutes long, but believe me, it's worth it.

And thank you, Joyce Cunningham, for send this to me.

Jane Reinheimer

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1246174515665636969&hl=en

WELCOME!

Hi, Barbara. All the way from Pond Gap, West Virginia.

It was great to hear from you.

All good wishes to you and Rich.

Jane

GOD REALLY DOES ANSWER PRAYERS!

I figured we'd just about get back to the Frozen Tundra North Country (Chicago) when the weather would turn really sour again.

We left Effingham at 8 a.m. An hour later we were at Grand Slam Quint's favorite Denny's in Tuscola for breakfast, then hopped back on I-57.

Two hours later I was making my approach to exit at Vollmer Road -- mile marker 342. The temperature had dropped to 31 degrees and precip was slushing up my windshield.

Thank you, God, for answering our prayers for safe travel.

In our travels north, we saw a huge semi off the road on the right side. It had obviously jack-knifed.

And a young lady, probably a college student but who can be certain, was in the median.

Black ice, maybe. It wasn't a good day to be going 80+ miles an hour. The visibility was down to about a mile. That's a far cry from the 18 miles-out-there-horizon.

### 

SO FAR THE DEMOCRATS ARE FIELDING 8 WOULD-BE PRESIDENTS

With only thirteen months to go until the New Hampshire primary kicks off the Golden Premier Silly Season of Political Rhetoric, there are a grand total of eight Democrats who are absolutely rock-solid certain that they can lead the country better than anybody ever has or ever will.

In alphabetical order, they are Joe Biden, the Delaware Senator; Hillary Clinton, the New York Senator; Chris Dodd, the Connecticut Senator; John Edwards, the former North Carolina Senator (and vice presidential candidate in 2004); Mike Gravel, the former Alaska Senator; Dennis Kucinich, the Ohio Representative; Barack Obama, the Illinois Senator; and Tom Vilsack, the Iowa Governor.

Do you notice how many of them come from Blue States out there on the east coast? That ought to be interesting. Again.

Before we get to the New Hampshire primary in February 2008, there will probably will at least another four or six, maybe ten. The Democrats like to field lots of candidates.

That's because they're mostly all senators and they think they're already little mini-presidents -- Democrats and Republicans alike.

Haven't heard much from the potentates on the Republican side of the world. Of this we can be certain, it will not be George Bush again.

###

HOW'D THE MOVIES DO?

There must have been a football game or something because there sure weren't too many moviegoers, according to BoxOfficeMoJo.

Stomp the Yard stayed in first place for its second week, with $13.3 million.

And can you believe Night at the Museum is still in second place?!! This is the fifth week for this adorable movie. Loved Owen Wilson as a little miniature cowboy. The movie gleaned $13 million in sales. Total ticket sales to date comes to $205,840,000.

Dreamgirls rose from 4th place last week to 3rd place this week. No doubt, the Golden Globes aroused some interest. This is the sixth week for this movie. Ticket sales came to $8,711,000.

This was the debut weekend for The Hitcher. Even so, it couldn't beat out the top three. Hitcher got $8,234,000 in ticket sales.

You can get the complete listing of the top 38 movies at www.boxofficemojo.com as well as reviews.

We have a weekend off before Super Bowl on February 4. Game will be in Miami and you know who I'm rooting for in the battle between the Chicago Bears and Indianapolis Colts.

Go Bears!

###

MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL -- WHO'S THE RICHEST OF US ALL?

We won't need to have any bake sales for these female entertainers.

According to Forbes, the richest of them all include:

Oprah Winfrey -- came in tops with a reported worth of $1.5 billion -- so you see, she can easily afford to build a school in South Africa for $40 million

J. K. Rowling comes in second with a cool $1 billion. Not bad for this welfare mom who penned the first Harry Potter book whilst sitting at her kitchen table and writing furiously fast on yellow legal pads (I've read).

Martha Stewart -- the cook and hostess with the mostest -- comes in next with $638 million

Then comes Madonna with $325 million

Celine Dion has $250 million, followed by Mariah Carey with $225 million

Janet Jackson has $150 million and Julia Roberts comes in last on the list of 8 top millionnaires with $140 million. But then, The Julia didn't make any movies last year; otherwise, her bottom-basement-lowest-fee-for-walking-in-front-of-the-cameras of $20 million would have bumped her up a notch.

And now I'm going to make Quint some beef vegetable noodle soup. He says even if we were millionaires -- which we are far far far far from being -- he'd still want me to make him homemade soup. Yum yum.

source: www.aceshowbiz.com

###

HARRIS POLL RELEASES LIST OF MOST FAVORITE MOVIE STARS

#1 - Denzel Washington
#2 - Tom Hanks -- down from #1 last year
#3 - John Wayne -- again -- the late, great!
#4 - Clint Eastwood -- advances two spots from last year
#5 - Will Smith ties with Julia Roberts
#7 - Johnny Depp ties with Mel Gibson-- Depp drops five spots from last year
#9 - George Clooney -- drops one spot
#10 - Harrison Ford -- drops seven spots from last year

The Harris Poll is an annual survey of 1,147 U.S. adults. They were surveyed between December 12 and 18, 2006.

source: www.aceshowbiz.com

###

OF COURSE SHE'S RUNNING -- WAS THERE ANY DOUBT EVER?

I realize that some of you don't read the news -- and who could blame anybody these days.

Unless there are pools of blood in parking lots or on sidewalks, you're more likely to see little mini-clips that feature weight loss advice, Hollywood types trashing the president or espousing some opinion that they think makes them look like deep thinkers.

So let me be the first to tell all of you who have insulated yourselves with sanity, in ten words or less, the Housewife on the Potomac is going to try to get the keys to the White House again. But this time, she wants the Oval Office all by herself.

That would be Senator Clinton.

I'll bet she gives that little kitchenette off the oval office a good scrubbing down too.

So let's see -- that brings a total of six so far, if you count Sharpton who is only just whispering about running. I bet he throws his hat in the ring eventually.

My point is this. You're going to be hearing a lot of cheap talk and criticisms of each other.

But mostly, in order to sound presidential, they all have to espouse what they think are great and wonderful opinions that disagree with the real Mr. President.

Also keep in mind that they may even try to resurrect some old, ugly comments about Mr. Bush's intellect. John Kerry did that when he ran against Bush. His campaign workers likened Bush to a box of rocks.

Then the military entrance tests were published. Kerry's IQ is 120 -- Bush's is 128.

Heh heh heh.

Now who's laughing. Bush is only eight points off Mensa's IQ of 135 for genius.

###

WE CAN ALL BREATHE A SIGH OF RELIEF -- AUNT NANCY'S GOT HER AGENDA PASSED THROUGH THE HOUSE!

Now we're all going to see how legislation really works.

Only the first two initiatives -- changing the House Rules on Ethics and how they conduct their own business.

The rest of the initiatives sound like they've changed the laws. But they haven't.

For instance, they say they've "pushed through an increase of the minimum wage." In truth, the Senate has to bless it and the president has to sign it.

Aunt Nancy says the House has expanded federal funding for stem cell research but they only passed a congressional version of what they want to be the law. The Senate has to bless it and the president has to sign it. He's already said he'd veto this one and the House has said they don't have the votes to override a veto.

Then the House said they passed legislation that gives students a cut in interest rates. The president said he'd prefer to give low-income students outright grants -- not loans. Expect a veto on this one too.

And yesterday, the House passed its last of the six initiatives when they passed legislation to collect more than $15 billion in new fees, royalties and taxes from the oil industry.

So to give credit where credit is due, they did do something.

And with time to spare. They didn't even come close to using up the 100 hours that Aunt Nancy thought it would take.

Problem is, they can't go around saying they've passed new laws. What they've done is pass a House version of laws they'd like to see enacted.

Here's where we all get a civics lesson in the legislative process. The House bills now go to the Senate to see what all those little mini-presidents think of the House's work.

Aunt Nancy isn't the most powerful woman in America over at that end of the building. Remember Senator Clinton. She thinks she's pretty muscular too.

###

GOOD NEWS FOR LOW INCOME COLLEGE STUDENTS

The House went ga-ga over its legislation packet that eased in reductions for student loan interest.

The White House took a dim view of this reduction schedule and rejected the congressional proposal.

What the White House wants to do is offer more direct aid grants to low-income students. Reducing an already-low 6.8% interest rate on federally backed college loans is not what Bush will agree to.

Just keep that in mind when all the political rhetoric starts up again about Bush not caring about the poor people and just wanting to give money breaks to rich people.

Bush wants to provide aid grants to poor people who can't afford college tuition -- not lower interest rates on student loans.

###

AUNT NANCY'S CLOCK IS AT 34 HOURS AND 5 OF THE 6 BILLS PASSED

All kidding aside and to give Nancy Pelosi her just due, she has somehow managed to get passage of five bills of the six on her pre-November election.

These bills include passing:

-- change rules that govern ethics, budget and lobbying rules (passed Jan. 4-5)
-- a bill that wants to pump up terrorism-fighting efforts (passed Jan. 9)
-- raise federal minimum wage (passed Jan. 10)
-- expand federally funded stem cell research (passed Jan. 11)
-- require government to negotiate for lower Medicare Rx prices (passed Jan. 13)

Still to pass will be legislation focusing on fees, taxes and royalties that come from oil and gas companies.

So Aunt Nancy and the representatives who passed the legislation have been busy.

Some of the bills will need to go through the Senate. And then on to the White House for either presidential signature or veto.

Don't misunderstand me here. I don't have an agreement at all with this minimum wage exemption that Aunt Nancy somehow got for her tuna canning buddies in San Francisco.

That's a bunch of baloney!

And I can certainly compromise on the stem cell research. I'm all for ongoing research. Just think that it needs to be funded privately. But, hey, I've been wrong before. Even in this century.

So if she's used up only 34 hours -- she just may get the sixth item passed through the House before the break on February 19 for President's Day. The following days through February 23 is set aside for in-district work.
 
I'll bet she comes back from San Francisco with a new list of legislation that she wants the House to work on.

A new things to do list is coming, don't you think?

I also suspect that a response to this blog will be coming from Quint. He tends to be a tad more conservative than I am.

But we decided a long time ago -- many many years, in fact -- that we don't have to think like each other.

Saves a lot of disagreements and hurt feelings. Especially if I mope around. We do have some very intellectually stimulating discussions about a lot of topics though.

source: www.house.gov

###

THOSE POOR REPUBLICANS JUST CAN'T GET A BREAK

You'd think people would have figured it out by now.

Especially the power brokers out there in Maybeville. But let me repeat it once again in case you weren't in class that day: To the victors belong the spoils.

This isn't about standing on principle because something is right. It's not even about reaching out to other members across the aisle.

You didn't believe that old song and dance, did you now?

It was just political rhetoric and it makes a better sound byte than "It's our turn to get even."

Now, according to an article at www.thehill.com, the Republican press secretaries can't seem to find a meeting room under the Dome.

They really liked meeting in the Dome's spacious budget hearing room. They could lean back in their comfy chair chairs. They could stretch their legs out. They could feel ultra important.

I mean, the budget hearing room! Does it get any more powerful than that?

Then they lost. More than the majority in Congress. They lost the most coveted meeting rooms in Maybeville. Now, like silly little penguins traipsing single file down the halls, they had to go over to the Rayburn Gold Room.

Hey! What's wrong with that? Sounds like a pretty nice room to me.

Oh, and that became unavailable too?

Well, how about the Cannon Caucus Room?

Aunt Nancy's office said, "Let me get back to you on that."

The press secretaries meet at 1 p.m. on Mondays. Someone finally called Friday night to let them know that the caucus room would be available.

Whah whah whah. The good rooms -- the best and mightiest rooms -- get picked first. By the party in power, you silly whiner.

I learned that in first grade. So why are the Republican press secretaries whining? Or surprised?

Maybe -- just maybe -- the next time there's a national election in this country, maybe the Republicans ought to get the voters in their districts over to the polls. Each and every one of their voters. Pick them up and drive them to the polls. And then take them to lunch. You have to give them some motivation to go to the polls. You don't think they vote because it feels good, do you? Not! This is America. The land of reciprocity.

Apparently you didn't do that last November. 

When the weather gets nicer, you could consider a picnic meeting on the grounds of the Capitol. I would think that somewhere on the 274 acres, there ought to be a couple of nice shade trees.

Someone could be in charge of contacting the Capitol Concierge and ordering some picnic baskets. A couple that I thought might be especially meaningful for you would be the Chocolate Power Basket. It goes from $45 - $85. I guess it depends on how many pounds of fudge you order.

Another basket that sounded like it was right in the ballpark for you would be the Good Cheer Basket. It goes from $50 - $100. But mind you, you're going to have to share with each other. These baskets are a bit steep, if you know what I mean.

So make sure one of you is in charge of taking the baskets home with you, then take turns bringing them back in subsequent weeks filled up with picnic goodies.

See, now that wasn't so hard, was it?

Oh, the Capitol Concierge's phone number is 202-331-0621. Their web site says that they are dedicated to taking any task off your hands, big or small. When you are pressed for time and you need that perfect something, just call them. They even have event planners.

There, I'm sure glad I could help you out.

###

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!!

You could have seen the headline on www.drudgereport.com, or www.foxnews.com or www.cnn.com and, of course, www.nbc10.com, a news affiliate in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

The story is about a naked man. He's a criminal defense attorney. He was naked in the courthouse conference room in Philadelphia.

That's bad enough. Ugly ugly ugly!

What's worse is that he was with a 14 year old girl -- not his client.

The attorney has been charged with solicitation, attempted statutory sexual assault and other counts related to that.

He's going to need a good lawyer. Surely he won't try to represent himself. He's already shown what a good lawyer he is.

It was Monday. The courthouse was closed in observance of Martin Luther King's birthday. But the courthouse was open to attorneys who needed to conduct business.

Oh really. And what business would that be that brings this attorney to the courthouse conference room on the third floor?

And how did the fourteen year old girl get into a closed courthouse?

Somehow I don't think this lawyer is going to be a friend of the court for very long.

He ought to be disbarred -- just for starters.

You see, somewhere along the line, people have forgotten that God is watching us. This lawyer doesn't need to worry so much about what the judge or jury is going to do to him.

He ought to worry about how he's going to explain this lapse in judgment to God, who is, after all, watching each one of us.

I, for one, do not want the Most Mighty One angry at me for anything! He's watching you, too.

###

BREAKFAST WITH AUNT NANCY

After I read one of the headlined articles at www.thehill.com my imagination just ran wild with the possibilities of conversations that might have been. I can just hear Aunt Nancy talking to the freshpersons of the Class of 2006 in the Continental Congress. I call it the Continental Congress because she serves a Continental Breakfast.

So even if the freshpersons balk at the idea of cold, heartless menu fare that is remindful of all those campaign stops, she'd probably say to them, "And you'd just better be there. All 42 of you newly elected Democrats.

"Every week. Well, every week that My House is in session.

"And I don't care if you have this misguided notion that breakfast ought to have at least one warm dish.

"If I say it's breakfast, it's breakfast. So grab a muffin and some strawberries and melon balls and sit down. I'm about to explain to you how things work around here."

Somehow I don't think this was a social invitation complete with gold engraving on eggshell colored paper. But then, maybe it was metallic burgundy print on pink paper. Who knows. There's a new speaker at the podium and since she's the most powerful woman in America, she can do just about anything she wants to.

Aunt Nancy even has a person who is in charge of -- get this -- incumbent retention. I always wondered about that. I mean, a freshperson finds himself/herself in Maybeville and gets a new office in The Building.

Does it have more than a desk and a credenza?

Where do I get more paper clips. And how about a stapler with staples, they might ask. Oh, send that one back. I want one with that cute little insignia on it that says I'm a member of Congress! Better yet, get me a dozen. I'll send one to my mom, and my sister and both my brothers.

How much do they cost? Really! Then just get me two. I had no idea they cost that much. What do you mean they don't have them in Central Supply? I'm not paying the same prices that tourists pay! No way.

Notice how those of us who used to be called voters are now called tourists. They even have a special place for us to sit if we go to Maybeville to watch them work at their big wooden desks down on the ground floor.

We're tourists now and we have to sit up there as if we were the unwashed. It's called the Gallery.

Things are different now. We won't get gladhanded for another year and a half, or whenever the mega-squats go back out to their districts. And you'd just better not bother them with requests for any special favors, like tours of the White House.

Those kinds of little favors are the work of a person in charge of constituent services. This is one of the first employees that freshpersons hire. A Constituent Sheriff can make or break a political career.

But first Aunt Nancy has to get through this first hundred hour deadline that she set for herself and mostly veteran lawmakers to pass six pieces of legislation. But for sure, she wants all the help she can get from the Class of 2006 Freshpersons.

So first of all, you'd better show up for breakfast. It will usually be held in the Conference Room in Aunt Nancy's office.

Oh really? Gee, my dining room only holds twelve people if they are sitting down to eat and I put all the leaves in the table. How in the world can she have breakfast for as many as a hundred hungry freshpersons in her conference room?

That must be some conference room.

And one other thing, she'd share with the new class. There will be no political talk around here. Not under The Dome. Remember that. And don't let me catch you talking politics around here.

You are to be prepared to make at least a five minute speech on the House floor at least once a week. And I want you to keep yourselves busy with Special Orders work. Those are very special meetings and they're usually going on late into the night.

I don't care if the Chamber is empty. C-SPAN is there taping speeches and it's broadcast live.

So just be there.

I'll be watching you!

###

LIFE'S LIGHTER MOMENTS SHOW UP ON THE RED CARPET

Oh the wretched turmoil of actually starring in a sitcom heralding you as an ugly person. Ugly Betty, to be specific. But alas, America Ferrera stepped out on the red carpet and we realize that Hollywood, is well, Hollywood.

It's all smoke and mirrors, and makeup and spray glue. And even I would look gorgeous in a designer gown made especially to hide all my creaky wrinkles. Names like Chanel or Carmen Marc Valvo.

It must take the red carpet faux beauts hours to get tan-sprayed. I read last week that there are even "artists" who sculpt in muscle definitions that make the stars look like they spend all day at fitness centers.

But if you look at the pulpy stuff at the supermarkets like I do -- after all, it's the reason I intentionally get in the longest line -- paparazzi roam the southern California beaches on daily cellulite patrols.

If I were a Hollywood type, I can tell you for sure that I wouldn't dare go out on one of those beaches unless I had body armor on, covered head to toe. Since I do not care about getting a tan, then why bother! Besides, ladies are not supposed to sweat.

So Quint says, "Why don't you just buy the paper," to which I explain for the 780th zillion time, "I'm not paying for this trash."

My favorite part of the evening was when Helen Mirren won best actress for her roles in both the TV series Elizabeth I and Elizabeth II in The Queen.

Elizabeth I is my absolutely favorite on the short list of Heroes, Deceased.

The Heroes, Living is a longer list because it grows and grows and grows. It's a list of people I admire and continue to admire. People like my daughters, Sharon and Teri, are on that list too. It wasn't easy growing up in a house with a mother who has an adult version of Aspergers Syndrome. It definitely does not mix well with a mild case of Attention Deficit Disorder, a plague which forever needs cerebral rescuing. Keeps me on my toes. And I never even liked asparagus.

Back to the 64th Golden Globe awards. By the time you read this, you'll probably have already devoured the list of winners. So I'll just say that I'm also pleased with Hugh Laurie, star of House for winning. Sure, he gets some good scripts that lead him into good lines, but his character continues to draw me in. If I ever get some exotic thing that's gone wrong with me, I hope House will come to my rescue.

Since I've always been a fan of Clint Eastwood, I'm also glad he got his Globe for his foreign language film Letters from Iwo Jima. Eastwood is a class act. What I like about him is that he doesn't run around claiming to own anything, or anyone.

Tomorrow, we'll see what the equally vain nitwits on the Atlantic side of town are doing.

###

WE ARE HEADING FOR OUR BUNKER FOR THE ICE STORM COMETH!

Actually our condo in on the second floor, so it's hardly a bunker.

But there is a big fat ice storm coming, so we are not going to venture out until Tuesday morning.

And depending on which weather expert you believe, we are going to get 1-3", or 3-5" or 7 inches or more. Plus ice.

Since neither Quint nor I are big fans of being stranded out on interstates in the middle of nowhere, we are going nowhere.

We'll be watching movies, eating popcorn, and painting the guest bedroom.

I'll be back Tuesday morning.

###

"BUT I WAS MISUNDERSTOOD," SAYS BARBARA (CARRIE-ANN) BOXER

Isn't that what everybody says who --

(1) was too drunk to make any sense

(2) put their feet in their mouths

(3) didn't know what they were talking about and got caught

(4) or was just trying to make a joke but instead looked incredibly stupid.

So the Boxer -- in her best shrilly voice -- leaped on every opportunity to get at Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice with little stabby words --and finally, when she realized she wasn't making any good, rational points, finally reminded the Secretary that Rice wouldn't have any idea how it might feel to have a son or daughter serving in Iraq since Rice doesn't have children and isn't married.

Rush Limbaugh said that it was "hitting below the ovaries."

Another blogger in his Swampland blog called the exchange "Womb Wars."

So that's why I've renamed Boxer the Carrie-Ann -- because she, like a vulture or a buzzard -- looks for weak spots. She appears as if she's occupying some lofty perch of intelligentsia. Truth is, she would never get through the first round in a debate tournament. She just divebombs in, then acts so surprised when people challenge her mean-spiritedness.

Just hang in there, Madam Secretary. You've got Carrie-Ann outclassed by a country mile. 

I remember a psychology professor warning my class in a Psychology of Women course that it's what women do to women that's horrible. How true, how true!

###

I'D SAY THAT WAS A BIT TOO CLOSE

In an article reported in USA Today, two helicopters had to set down in a hurry in Jacksonville, Florida.

The two helicopters were flying too close to each other when their rotors touched.

Too close to each other? What an understatement!

They were flying over the St. Johns River. So they landed -- one on the north bank and the other on the south bank.

And you just stay over there on your side!

###

BIG EARTHQUAKE OFF THE NORTH OF JAPAN

Just in case you missed the news -- and for those of you who do not catch the news because it's (1) ridiculous, (2) not credible; (3) too managed, or (4) it's too depressing, you ought to at least be aware that an 8.3 earthquake happened in the northwestern Pacific -- off the Kuril Islands.

The Kuril Islands look like a string of pearls off the northern coast of Japan.

The earthquake was at a depth of 6.2 miles (10 km). It happened at 14:48 UTC, which used to be Greenwich Mean Time, now it's Coordinated Universal Time.

Naturally, there has been a number of "little" quakes following that big one -- that is, if you can count a 5.1 as a little quake.

###

I'M SURE GLAD SOMEONE EXPLAINED THE TIME OUT SYSTEM IN MAYBEVILLE'S CLOCK

Okay -- so every game invented by man has a system of time-outs. And commercial breaks.

But I did not know that Aunt Nancy was going to drop to her left knee every time the House of Representatives did something that didn't have anything to do with passing legislation.

In the first place, I thought she said these six new laws were going to be passed in the first hundred hours after her regime change.

I have been properly corrected.

What she meant was the first hundred legislative hours.

That does not include any time spent on other things -- even though the legislature is in session and all Aunt Nancy's people are on the floor.

The way she figures it, according to an article posted by the Associated Press, she's only used up seventeen hours of her hundred.

Folks, it will be this time next year before she gets to the half-time game!

It doesn't matter anyway because she's actually counting the increase in minimum wage from $5.15 to $7.25 an hour except for the tuna industry in her favorite town -- none other than San Francisco, right smack dab in the big middle of her district.

Imagine that. The tuna industry in San Francisco -- StarKist and DelMonte and Chicken of the Sea are exempt from paying their workers the new federal minimum wage, according to an article by Charles Hurt in The Washington Times.

Could this possibly be from the the same Aunt Nancy -- the one who promised to look out for us little guys and finally give American workers a pay raise -- and she promised to bring back honesty in government.

In the meantime, Reuters says that President Bush signed the Magnuson-Stevens Fish Management Act. This law will prevent overfishing in U.S. waters.

Overfishing is defined as bottom feeding. I'm not even going to make a smarty comment about bottom feeders in Maybeville.

We have been duped again, folks. Are you surprised?

Maybe President Bush ought to include big tuna companies in the definition of bottom feeders because they somehow managed to get an exemption from paying the minimum wage.

Maybe I won't eat any tuna until they start paying workers the new federal minimum wage.

###

LET'S BE CLEAR ABOUT THIS: NO ONE EVER SAID THAT STEM CELL RESEARCH SHOULD NOT GO FORWARD

What was said is that embryonic (live babies) tissue should not be used to harvest stem cells.

There are millions of us who believe that embryos are real live, tiny little human beings. We most certainly don't want these little persons to be aborted so that the stem cells could be harvested.

And the firestorm that burned around President started to smolder when he said that federal tax money ought not to be used for such research.

So, for instance, if you have an eight-year-old son who has leukemia and you get pregnant so that you could harvest stem cells from the embryo of your unborn child, that would pose an ethical dilemma.

So here's a thought. Why not get the stem cells from your unborn baby's amniotic fluid and let the baby live?

Then you don't have to do away with your unborn baby just to get stem cells.

The hypocrisy of it all is that we charge a mother with murder if she microwaves a month-old baby. But we don't do a cotton picking thing to a mother who aborts an unborn baby in the very sterile environment of a hospital operating room.

Will someone please explain to me how one is murder and the other isn't. 

On second thought, maybe I don't want to hear from some of you. According to the National Right to Life, there have been 47,282,923 abortions since 1973.

The entire population of the United States just passed 300,000,000. We could have enjoyed the birth of 15.6% more souls had they not been aborted.

That's a giant farm of stem cells that just got thrown away. Or incinerated. Or just thrown in the trash dumpsters.

Didn't we, as a most righteous culture, say something about the horribleness of the Nazis killing 6,000,000 jews?

And we aren't taking too kindly about 3,000 soldiers being killed in the war in Iraq.

It does seem clear to me, though, that it's safer being a soldier in Iraq than being a baby in this country.

I would be really curious to know what God thinks about all this hypocrisy.

###

EVERYBODY IS GETTING INTO THE ACT

Wow! Former Senator George McGovern (1972 presidential candidate) is going to talk to the National Press Club luncheon about his plans to pull U.S. troops out of Iraq.

Wonder what Barbara Boxer thinks about the properness of his credentials. Like how old is he, 112? Does he have any kiddos in Iraq? I highly doubt it.

Is there anybody in Maybeville who does not have an opinion about the Iraq war.

Even Senator Clinton is going over there for a four-day here's looking at you trip. She'll be joined by Senator Evan Bayh (D-Indiana) and Representative John McHugh (R-New York).

Isn't the illustrious senator from New York supposed to be at The Hearing about Iraq? Same for you, too, Mr. Bayh.

Or do you send staff to take notes for you?

###

THERE'S A REASON WHY PRESIDENTS GO TO CAMP DAVID EVERY WEEKEND

Ever since Dwight Eisenhower named this scenic, rustic retreat after his grandson David, presidents and their families have enjoyed getting away from the Washington hustle bustle and all the trappings that living in Maybeville have to offer.

And every once in a while there are those who criticize this privilege by those who occupy the Oval Office.

But let me tell you what I have learned about these little pajama parties in the Maryland hills.

Contrary to the opinion that they're living in the lap of luxury while they're on retreat, the president's Secret Service detail gets to go home and spend the weekend with families.

That's because the United States Marine Corps guards the inhabitants of Camp David.

This is going to be a working weekend though. According to the newswires, Bush will be joined by Senate Minority Leader Mitch McDonnell of Kentucky, Senate Minority Whip Trent Lott of Mississippi, House Minority Leader John Boehner of Ohio, and House Minority Whip Roy Blunt of Missouri.

Mr. and Mrs. President are already on their way.

Do you think they go over early to fluff up the pillows? Maybe run the vacuum around the high spots. After all, it is a rustic place, I've heard.

Or maybe to get the roast in the oven. Do they even bring chefs? Do marines cook for them?

Does the helicopter stay there all weekend just in case Mr. President has to rush back to the White House to do important things like sign bills or pass out paychecks to the staff.

Are Mrs. Bush's daffodils popping up too early, like mine?

Why are the Whips going with them? What do Whips do anyway? Do I really want to know?

So many questions, so few answers.

###

WHERE DOES ANY WOMAN EVER GET THE RIGHT TO QUESTION ANOTHER WOMAN'S OPINION JUST BECAUSE THE SECOND WOMAN HAS NO CHILDREN?

You'd expect such outrageous idiocies from mindless nincompoops.

On second thought, maybe that's what Senator Barbara Boxer is.

I read in an article printed in the New York Post that Boxer actually had the unmitigated gall to tell Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice that she is not qualified to make policies at the highest levels of the American government because Rice is a single, childless woman.

Does Barbara Boxer ever stop to think about what she's saying before speaking? Or do the words just fall off her tongue every time there's an airhole that didn't get plugged up by the conscious restraint of her lips?

Besides, if she's talking about qualifying to discuss the Iraq situation only if you are a parent of a soldier, then I have news for her.

Look around you, Barbara. Last I heard, Ted Kennedy doesn't have any kiddos over there either. Nor does Hillary. Nor does Warner. Didn't hear you eliminate them from having their right to voice an opinion because they're too old to be parents of the Iraqi soldier generation.

As for you, Barbara Boxer -- this is where and how Congress gets its 16% approval ratings. In case you can't work the math, that means that 84% of the American voters do not think Congress is doing its job for the American people, nor do we think you are in touch with us.

Every classless comment that politicians make become sound bites for opponents in your next election. 

I, for one, hope this is your last term in office, Barbara Boxer.

You are far from the best that America has to offer.

And then Quint asks, "Yes, but what do you really think, Jane?"

### 

STEM CELL RESEARCH GETS APPROVED BY THE HOUSE

No matter that President Bush has threatened to veto the bill if it gets passed by Congress.

And no matter that he did veto a similar bill once before.

The House now thinks it has the votes to over-ride a presidential veto.

But first the bill will have to go to senate. The senate will then make up its own bill.

Most probably, the senate and house bills will be quite a bit different from each other. If that turns out to be true, then the senate and house will send the package to a conference committee -- made up of house members and senators.

And they'll debate and talk and compromise and get a third version of the bill put together and it goes back to the both houses for action.

If this compromise version gets passed, then it lands at the White House where the president will probably veto it -- that is, if the bill uses embryonic stem cells.

Amniotic fluid sources or umbilical cord sources of stem cells are okay -- just no embryos (babies).

The vetoed bill gets send back to Capitol Hill to see if the votes are there to over-ride the veto.

And I think that finishes #3 of Aunt Nancy's 100 Legislative Hour Things To Do List.

Let's see - we got the rules changed in the House, minimum wage upped, and now stem cells. Yep, that's #3.

Keep in mind that Pelosi didn't say the bills would become laws. She only said the House would pass bills. The Senate has something to say about some of these bills too.

In the Senate, the votes are 51-49, with the Democrat majority. But Senator Tim Johnson of South Dakota is not going to be able to vote for a while. He's only very recently been upgraded to fair from critical following his surgery for an arteriovenous malformation.

The last thing he needs to be concerned about right now is floor votes.

###

REMEMBER THE PREDICTION OF $100 A BARREL FOR OIL?

We got scared. We were already paying $3.00+ a gallon for gasoline and the price seemed to be in a upward spiral out of control.

Then Mother Nature gave us a break.

Warm weather. Unseasonably warm weather for the midwest.

Yay!

Now there's a marked reduction in the demand for oil supplies, according to Reuters. For the first time since May 2005, the price of crude has slipped below $52/barrel. Okay, so $51.90 a barrel is just barely under $52 -- but it counts.

But don't get too foot-loose and fancy free, my friends. By next Tuesday, the temperature is supposed to get down to about 8 degrees -- more in keeping with the season.

And hopefully my daffodils will keep their little faces beneath the dirt where they belong until spring!

But back to oil. Another thing that is helping relieve the strain on oil prices is that Russia has ended a three-day halt in its pumping. Russian oil is now flowing again through the Druzhba pipeline to Central Europe.

We need a lot of oil in the U.S. because our usage is right at 20 million barrels a day just driving our cars and jets and trucks and busses and everything else that requires petroleum. After all, it just won't do if the Europeans use up oil that we may need.

Russia outproduces the Saudis. Did you know that? That just started happening a month or so ago.

And just in case you're of the opinion that the whole reason we're in Iraq is because we just want their oil -- the following information from the Energy Information Administration (at www.gravmag.com) may help you become more factual in your point of view.

Listed below are the countries from whom we buy our crude, as of November 2005:

Canada -- 18%
Mexico -- 15%
Nigeria -- 12%
Saudi Arabia -- 12%
Venezuela -- 10%
Angola -- 6%
Iraq -- 5%
Algeria -- 3%
Columbia -- 3%
Ecuador -- 3%
U.K. -- 2%
Kuwait -- 2%
Equatorial Guinea -- 1%
Norway -- 1%

It doesn't add up to 100% because we do drill for oil here at home too.

Canada has been our greatest source of oil since 2001, according to the Energy Info. Adminstration.

There's a wealth of other information on their web site. You can find the web address under "oil" in the list of other links.

###

I THOUGHT MY FAVORITE HORSIE WAS DOING BETTER

Granted, there hasn't been a lot of news lately about Barbaro so I clearly thought he was on the mend.

Apparently that isn't the case. He had more surgery last night. More damaged tissue had to be removed from his left hind hoof.

There had even been talk of releasing him later this month from the hospital at the University of Pennsylvania.

Barbaro shattered his right when he ran in the Preakness last May. Then in July he needed to have 80% of his left hind hoof removed.

Ouch.

Ordinarily horses -- even great horses -- come and go.

But Barbaro was poetry in motion.And when he ran the Kentucky Derby, all his muscles flexed into a thing of beauty.

I sure hope he will make it. But laminitis is often fatal. Horses have to have an even distribution of weight. That's hard to do when one of the limbs is so compromised.

###

NO SMOKING IN THE SPEAKER'S LOBBY

I had not known that the Speaker of the House had a separate lobby.

My my my.

From now on, there will be no smoking in Her lobby, thank you, very much.

After all, the Capitol is the center of our nation's democracy, says John Kirkwood, president and CEO of the American Lung Association.

Yeah, well, you just wait to see how democracy in action works when all those little mega-squats start having spitball contests when they can't get the cooperation they need to pass legislation.

Congressmen cooperate with noone -- unless they get promises to vote for earmarks -- yet these little oinkies will continue until somebody manages to get the rules changes.

In the meantime, there's great scurrying about.

It's hard to tell whether they're little rats or little pigs.

Can't tell by the smell. A feed lot is a feed lot and everybody tries to elbow their way up to the budgetary trough.

Just remember -- Congress only has a 16% approval rating.

They're going to have to do a whole lot of improving before the American people even start to think about approving of their antics.

And I was even gladder to see some of the outrageous mega-squats didn't automatically get re-elected. I sure hope that's a new trend!

###

HERE LITTLE PIGGIES!

The list of pork champions is maintained by that watchdog group called the Citizens Against Government Waste (CAGW).

Every month they name a big ole porking honcho. And last month that distinction (can't really call such fleecing of the taxpayers an honor) went to Sen. Tom Harkin (D-Iowa) for the parts he played in garnering some $275 million since 2000. That figure includes a tidy little million for the development of an American River Museum in Dubuque (2002) and $250,000 for the National Cattle Congress in Waterloo (2006).

Don't know what the Cattle Congress does. Maybe they sit around and have beef tastings. Or maybe they compare whether Merlot or Cabernets go better with Rib Eyes or Filets or Porterhouses.

Anyway, it's a congress so you can be sure there are meetings. And there's bound to be lots of beef and good vino when congress is about its serious business.

Just last year, the Iowanians garnered $72,197,000 in earmarks.

Oh, but wait. Senator Harkin says he doesn't mind that pork was renamed earmarks. He doesn't even call it earmark. Instead, he prefers to call it "Congressional directed spending."

As most of you know, I have been trying to nail down a real working definition of just exactly what pork is.

Guess what? The CAGW does that in its Congressional Pig Book Summary (which is available at its web site: www.cagw.org. You can also read about each monthly porker all the way back to January 2001 when President Clinton was named Porker of the Month.

So here's how pork/earmarks are defined:

-- requested by only one chamber of Congress;
-- not specifically authorized;
-- not competitively awarded;
-- not requested by the President;
-- greatly exceeds the President's budget request or the previous year's funding;
-- not the subject of congressional hearings; or
-- serves only a local or special interest.

The Pig Summary book is more than fifty pages long. I just made a quick read and found these little piggies:

$1,433,000 for curriculum development at Mississippi Valley State University
$250,000 for ethnobotany research in Alaska; also $75,000 for seafood waste research
$260,000 for grazing research in Wisconsin, and $30,000 for Great Lakes aquaculture
$545,000 for advanced computing research and education
$516,000 for Western Kentucky University
$4,500,000 for the Geographic Information System Center of Excellence at West Virginia University
$750,000 for multiflora rose control
$180,000 for turfgrass research (maybe West Virginia wants its grass to look like its neighbor's bluegrass
$500,000 for apple fire blight research in Michigan and New York
$273,000 for urban development -- Cornell University proposes to implement "Garden Mosaics" -- so far, since 2003, $620,000 has been appropriated for this project
$234,000 for the National Wild Turkey Foundation
$591,017,000 added in conference for eight additional C-130s
$22,000,000 for Maui Space Surveillance System (Huh? Maui now has its own space ships?)
$500,000 for the Arctic Winter Games in Alaska
$1,000,000 for crossroad cluster communities at Fort Knox -- what's that?
$8,270,000 for breath alcohol testing equipment -- are you saying we have a drinking problem?
$5,600,000 for the basic neuroscience and effects of alcohol and drug abuse on the brain -- given to the Ernest Gallo Clinic & Research Center at the University of California
$1,000,000 for competency-based distance education initiative with Western Governors University in Utah 

And that covers just little pieces of the first seventeen pages of the Pig Report. It goes on and on and on for another thirty-five pages.

We even have $13,500,000 earmarked for the International Fund for Ireland for cross-community projects like the Donegal Town Waterbus, the Chef Development Program and the World Toilet Summit.

$350,000 was added by Richard Durbin (D-Ill) for the Chicago Greenstreets Program -- included the design, installation, and maintenance of over 950 hanging baskets. Supposedly, this newly added feature overflows with splashes of vivid color and delicate foliage providing a welcoming touch to the streets of Chicago

$41,000,000 for the Byrd Honors Scholarships -- these scholarships are named after Senator Robert Byrd (D-W.Va.)

$2,000,000 for the Underground Railroad Program. Wait a minute -- how many quilts can you collect? And didn't the train stop running after the slaves were freed?

$450,000 for plantings on the eastern front of the Capitol. How nice. But doesn't the Park District or Dept. of Interior take care of the grounds? Why is the Legislative Branch putting this into its budget?

$6,800,000 for a physical fitness center at Ft. Hood -- there are already six fitness centers at Fort Hood -- but wait, this new one includes a coed sauna. Oooh. It also includes computerized cardiovascular equipment with TV access, three racquetball courts, an eight-lane 25 meter swimming pool, and other stuff

$3,500,000 for Auburn University in Alabama to develop high-efficiency free piston sterling converters

$1,000,000 for the Bring Back Broad Street initiative in Mobile, AL

$5,000,000 for the Industrial Outreach Service at Mississippi State University

$150,000 for the Wasilla (Alaska) Police Dept. for technology upgrades. Wasilla has an estimated population of 7,700 in 2004. Baltimore City, Maryland, received a $100,000 earmark for the same purpose and it has a population of more than 600,000

Now, nobody is saying that these projects aren't worthwhile.

But what is important, I think, is to get the expense of the projects out on the hearings floor and engage in some sort of debate about whether they are good, federal projects.

Many of the pork projects are isolated expenses for just one state. Why, for instance, should the taxpayers in Oklahoma pay for the technology upgrades of a police department in any other state?

I'm still mystified about the Maui space project. I'd love to see that grant application or budget request to justify the appropriation.

The piggy book is free to download and print. Read it and weep.

###

WHEN IS AN EASTER EGG HUNT LIKE THE NEW, IMPROVED ETHICS RULES OF THE 110TH CONGRESS?

Now, let's see. The new rules kind of hinted that the mega-squats weren't going to get all that free travel on corporate air yachts. (Which they look luxuriously comfy and good in photos). Maybe it's the white leather plumpy sofas and those little TV monitors that seem to be attached to the arm rests that make them look so inviting.
 
Then again, maybe it's because corporate jets are just waiting in their own little hangar out there near the runways. No need to go through screening or showing identification. Everybody already knows you -- you can bet your bottom dollar that's true.

Whatever -- mega-squats are supposed to be flying coach just like the rest of us. As least the representatives. Apparently the senators never heard of such a thing.

And then, a most unfortunate wrinkle hit the travel plans of the senator from Nevada -- former President Gerald Ford died.

Did the senator from Nevada and now head honcho over in the senate cancel his trip to pay respects to a former president? Or his widow?

Not!

All those meetings down in Peru would just be too difficult to reschedule, Reid says.

Right. Like any president of any country wouldn't understand attending a former president's funeral. That couldn't possibly be important enough to warrant a reschedule.

Nice try but don't give me that. Nothing is difficult for any of you guys. You have staff that take care of the zillion little details of delaying a trip a day or two so you can at least show up for a state funeral.

So let's see. The guest list on the little government paid trip to Peru's ancient city of Machu Picchu right after Christmas included several other senators -- and their spouses -- as well as staff. Other senators on board included Dick Durbin (D-Ill), Kent Conrad (D-ND), Judd Gregg (R-NH), Robert Bennett (R-Utah), and Ken Salazar (D-Colo).

One of the staffers did say, from a cell phone aboard a U.S. military plane, that all those trip schedules would be just too difficult to cancel.

Hey, wait a minute. I can't use a cell phone when I fly. Everybody in the cabin is told that there would be a gravest of consequences if people used cell phones. It could interfere with flight towers and make the plane fall like a torpedo out of the sky. Or something hyperbolic like that.

The senator did, however, try to reach Mrs. Ford to tell her what a great guy her husband was and he wanted to offer his deepest condolences. Well, they must not have been too deep as he did his robo-senator thing traipsing around the Peruvian ruins.

If you would like to take a virtual tour of what the illustrious senators might have seen, go to www.destination360.com/peru/machu-picchu.php. 

Hey, forget all those meetings. I would consider the trip -- not that I'd ever be asked, unless someone wanted to throw me over the edge of a cliff for not keeping my mouth shut -- just to see all the different colored orchids growing everywhere blooming profusely.
 
I'd go to Machu Picchu just for that. But I would first offer my condolences to Mrs. Ford in person. If I were a VIP senator, I could probably get that close.

And I wouldn't make up any wild stories about wanting to check out a security system of a place that is the poster child for lost cities in the Andes Alps.

Any city that takes ten days to get to by rugged rock trails ought to be pretty safe, in my book. Especially if the city is sitting on top of a little mountain.

But for some reason, the people abandoned their town of Machu Picchu just before the Spanish conquest. (I'll bet aliens came and took them off somewhere to settle new lands in the deserts of Nevada.)

It wasn't until 1911 when a Yale explorer -- Hiram Bingham -- found the city in the dense mountain lushness. 

Bingham apparently put it on a secret "Must See List" that exists to this very day.

Now, average ordinary tourists can reach Machu Picchu by flying from Lima, staying overnight in the hilltop city of Cuzco, then taking a train on up to the ruins. This may take a few hours. And be warned -- there are a lot of switchbacks.

Or, if you've arrived in coach class like the rule-following congresspersons and feeling a little intrepid, you can hike up one of the trails. This could take as much as ten days, depending on which path you take. Then you would definitely not be back in time for any funeral.

Kind of keep in mind that all this ethics reform and requirements about flying coach from now on, applies to the House of Representatives. So far, Aunt Nancy's reach doesn't get over to the senate chamber where a hundred little miniature presidents sit and pontificate all the livelong day.

For Quint and me, it would probably take a month to get up to the ruins. We've noticed in our travels that many of our hikes don't look so much like switchbacks as doublebacks because we see a lot of great touristy things more than once. We never knew that until we looked at our photos after one of our trips.

"Yep, stand over there, Quint. I'll get a picture of you coming around the other side of the rock," I say.

But never mind. If you're a very busy potentate senator who just wants to check the trip off his wife's list of "Places I've Been and Things I've Seen" you can just take an old helicopter ride on up to Machu Picchu.

The wives can then look at the blooming orchids and go "Ooh and Ahh" and stand near the precipice for really daring photos. This version of the trip is called the "Senatorial LOL Travel List" for travel trumpeters who are hoping the little taxpayers back in the U.S. will forget about trying to see if they ever reimburse some company for use of the corporate jets and helicopters (in about three years).

Got news for you -- the internet has arrived. It will bring a lot of transparency to many money places you'd hoped would get overlooked. Thanks, in part, to web sites like www.politicalmoneyline.com.  

You could say the internet is the Overlooked Committee because it took over when the Oversight Committees in Maybeville failed so miserably.

LOL!

###

 

GREAT NEWS FOR ALL OF YOU WHO ARE SUPPORTING STEM CELL RESEARCH

Stem cell research is on the agenda for this Thursday in the House of Representatives, according to an article in Reuters.

Furthermore, the Representatives say they have enough votes to override a presidential veto.

It's a subject that has been hotly debated for quite some little time now. It became a campaign issue in this last election. Currently, federal law has tight constraints on using taxpayer money to pay for experiments using embryonic stem cells.

If the House does pass the bill, then it goes over to the Senate where it's also likely to pass it in the Senate chambers. Then it heads on over to the White House where President Bush has already said he would veto it.

Then it comes back to the House to see if they can override the veto.

As a thought, Quint says that many other countries do not allow embryonic stem cell research. So it isn't just the United States that fails to allow this. But those few countries that do allow stem cell research have presented no breakthroughs for curing diseases.

Keep in mind that there are currently 22 lines of embryos for research that have already been allowed for the last several years. There is ongoing research but so far no medical breakthroughs.

I can tell you this -- I am not an expert but I know that every baby that's born has embryonic stem cells in the umbilical cord -- and amniotic fluid presents new stem cells.

But I do know this: so far -- even with the old 22 lines -- scientists have not been able to take the stem cells and make them grow into the human tissue cells they hope for in order to achieve a medical breakthrough.

Quint has this suggestion: Apparently the amniotic fluid preserves very well -- so why not freeze some supply and if (or when) the baby grows into a person with a disease, then that person would have access to its own private reserve of stem cells within the fluid that was preserved?

And maybe by that time, research will have caught up with the clock.

Sort of like when the cosmic clock strikes the minute hand of destiny, then it's time.

You know that Quint and I will keep these discussions very much alive.

You should just hear some of our dinner conversations!

###

IT QUACKED LIKE AN EARMARK, WALKED LIKE AN EARMARK ...

And it added up to better than $1 billion according to an article I read at www.thehill.com.  Deny it, he will, but Senator Harry Reid, who is now known as Senate Majority Leader Reid (D-Nev), had some money earmarked for his favorite state of Nevada.

It was for a water project. Some of the water was going to snake its way by pipeline into glitzy Las Vegas, a city that's always thirsty -- what with faux Venice, and faux waterfalls, and faux faux, and zillions of people taking showers every day out in the desert. In hotels, of course.

And then, the water gets cloudy, so to speak.

The big project that was a hoped-for-soon-to-be-funded-by-earmark under the last tail end of the 109th Congress somehow got delayed. It had to do with the Southern Nevada Water Authority and a White Pine lands bill.

Then White Pines withdrew its support for the project.

Ahem! What are you doing there, fellows?

Goodbye money. The new regime has landed. No more earmarks unless the governator mega-squats put their names on them.

Oh, but wait a second. This doesn't have much to do with preserving pristine wilderness where all those little slithery things drag their fangs around, does it?

Didn't I just read somewhere that Harry Reid's son Rory is board chairman of Clark County?

Isn't that where Las Vegas is located?

Just wondering.

###

THIS WOULD BE PRIOR TO THE GREAT AND WONDERFUL PRE-ENGAGEMENT ANNOUNCEMENT OF THINGS TO COME

All right, everybody. Especially if your name starts off with Mr. Paparazzi -- listen up.

You have made the Prince very angry.

Not Charles.

No, this is straight from the Prince whom you claim to adore -- you know, the son of Her!

And you'd better stop calling her Kate. She's already made it quite amply well known that henceforth she prefers to be called by her real name, Catherine.

That goes better with Queen. Kate is so, well, ordinary. So quit it.

Now, as far as your hanging around in front of her London flat like a bunch of buzzards ready to pounce the moment she tries to make it out to her car at the curb, just please back up a bit.

From what I've been able to see, you have some pretty expensive telephoto thingeys on your camera so there is no reason on the good earth that you should be so close that you get a whiff of her shower soap fragrance.

Enough already!

CBS News has reported that News International is not going to publish paparazzi pictures anymore in any of its publications. That includes the Times, the Sun and the News of the World.

So you're just being unelegantly trashy about the whole thing. I'm guessing you're from those pulpy things -- newspaper wanabee types.

In the meantime, show a little style and grace and leave my darling Catherine alone.

###

WILL SOMEONE PULEEEZE START THE CONGRESSIONAL ENGINES?

On the 110th Congress, that is.

They've been sworn in a week now. Well, almost a week.

Looks like they're going to proceed to commence to begin with legislation that would require ALL shipping containers coming into the U.S. ports be searched.

I dunno about that. I seem to remember from statistics courses that if you randomly select every fifth item, you get the same effectiveness as if you had selected each and every item.

But for fear of sounding like I'd be minimizing security, I'll just keep my mouth shut -- as amazing as that may seem.

For now.

Some of the six monumentous tasks will require joint action with the House and the Senate. And since neither the House nor the Senate can overrule a presidential veto right now, it's time for all the politicians to play nice.

What the House did do was change the rule that says they can now raise taxes with a simple majority (50-50 +1), not the previously required super majority (2/3 +1).

Here we go, folks.

Aunt Nancy, the mayor of Maybeville, says that she is absolutely not in favor of a tax increase.

But what is most likely going to happen is over in the Social Security corner of the room. Some speculation exists that the House of Representatives is poised to raise the threshold of social security to a $150,000 minimum. And then they'll turn around and increase (slightly) social security benefits to a zillion seniors. Then everybody will be happy.

Sort of.

Except for the worker class who find out next year that when they get to $90,000 they will still be paying FICA for a long, long time. Since the worker drones don't necessarily read the news from Capitol Hill, they'll be really really surprised when they're expecting the FICA to drop off somewhere along about the end of September or October.

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THE 5-DAY WORKWEEK HASN'T STARTED YET IN MAYBEVILLE!

Remember the last election? The one where the Democrats blistered the Republicans at the polls -- for a lot of reasons.

But one of the things the Democrats said had to absolutely stop right now was this business of Congress not working a 5 days workweek.

Steny H. Hoyer said back then -- that he expected (as House Majority Leader) to round up all the mega-squats and get them into the Chamber for -- well, the business of the American people.

And Aunt Nancy, the Mayor of Maybeville, outlined a most ambitious plan of some eight proposals that she plans to get passed during the first 100 legislative hours.

Uh, has the clock started ticking yet? I don't think so. And they've been sworn in quite a little while.

So far, the press release from Hoyers office says -- about today -- The House is not in session.

Now, there are all sorts of rumors running around on two-legs -- hithering and thithering all around the town.

Could it possibly be a championship football game between the Ohio Buckeyes and the Florida Gators. That must be a really big hotsytotsy game, let me tell you.

Otherwise, you just know all those hard-working politicians would much rather be in the House Chambers where they're paid to be instead of going to some old drudgerous football game between two highly sparked rivals!

But cheer up -- the House will be back in session tomorrow.

And next Monday will be a holiday to commemorate the late Martin Luther King, Jr.

Don't know about the 22nd and 29th of January. Might just be other good reasons why Congress won't be in session. In that event, January would be a month of 4-day workweeks.

Did anything change? Have I missed something so obvious that I failed to wrap my little pea brain around this momentous event!

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HERE'S YOUR BOX OFFICE MOJO FOR THE WEEKEND

Can you believe that Night at the Museum stayed in first place for the third weekend in a row with gross sales of $24 million for this weekend?

The Pursuit of Happyness stayed in second place with $13 million -- not bad for the fourth weekend of its release.

And it looks like Children of Men came in third for its second weekend out there. It took in $10.2 million.

Apocalypto fell to 18th place (last weekend it was in 14th place) with $1.6 million.

And oh my goodness -- where is Borat? Looks like he fell to 27th place with weekend ticket sales of $460,000.

That's almost neck and neck with Pitt's Babel. Brad beat out Borat with the weekend ticket take of $464,000.

Remember, you can get all kinds of information from www.boxofficemjor.com, including reviews, and as much information as you could possibly want about all the movies that are out there.

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MY TULIPS AND DAFFODILS WILL BE RUINED IF IT DOESN'T GET COLD SOON!

I never thought I'd see the day when I'd actually want colder weather -- well, just a little colder.

We managed to find a window of opportunity to head back to Effingham to check things out. Lo and behold, we have daffodils coming up. Not just peeking out of their beds, but up waving at the sky 3 inch green stalks.

Fortunately not all 50+ little cuties, but at least a half dozen or so. I was so looking forward to this particular variety -- it has pink centers, not the usual yellow variety.

The good news is that the weather is going to sink back down into the twenties tonight and some snow ought to cover the flower beds again. Hopefully it won't warm up again until maybe mid-March. Then the daffodils and tulips can come on out from under their dirt blankets. Then they can stay up and bloom gloriously.

We made the three hour trip back from Effingham without incident. We did stop at Denny's in Tuscola where Quint got his Grand Slam. He's happy now. Got lots of ham to chow down on. Then shopping at the Tanger Outlet Mall. Then back on I-57 for a sunny trip north.

I have to tell you, though, that the Puddle Police has been busy noticing all that standing water in the cornfields. Actually it's a good thing. There needs to be plenty of water in the ground table so that the corn next summer will be plump and juicy -- just the way we like it.

So even though the Corn Police is off duty until planting season in the spring, we will be watching the puddles carefully.

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THE VOTE WAS 233 IN FAVOR OF PELOSI AND 202 AGAINST

For all her adamance about bipartisanship, the vote to elect her lined up along party lines. In fact, it was exactly on party lines: 233-202. It was an hour-long roll call vote. I'm guessing that it took that long to do the roll call because she probably didn't get a majority right off the bat.

The House was busy in its first few days -- not just electing Aunt Nancy, as Mayor of Maybeville, but also a new set of ethics rules. For instance, members of congress can't ride around in corporate jets anymore. And they're not supposed to accept any gifts from lobbyists either.

They also said they want honorable whosiwhatsits to be able to get their pictures on postage stamps.

And the Boise team got a huge bunch of atta boys for winning the Fiesta Bowl.

Just a reminder: Aunt Nancy pledged to the American people that she would get some 8 pieces of legistlation passed during the first 100 (legislative) hours of the 110th Congress.

Don't confuse that with the 100 resolutions they passed -- many of which were passed along to committees where they will die a natural death if noone remembers to Lazarus them.

According to a Rasmussen poll, only 16% of the likely voters who were polled believe that Congress is in touch with the American people.

As far as Aunt Nancy is concerned, depending on which poll you look at, her approval rating is anywhere from 30% to 45%.

It depends on whether you ask women or men -- or Democrats or Republicans -- or voters or non-voters.

If you have an interest in things that look like polls, you can go to http://www.rasmussenreports.com

If you want to see all the horrifically labored resolutions that get to the floor of the House, go to http://clerk.house.gov or or www.house.gov

IT'S GONNA HAPPEN! PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON WILL ENJOY A ROYAL BETROTHAL BEFORE MUCH LONGER

HRG -- Her Royal Girlfriendness -- and Prince William are becoming quite the public couple. And apparently the photographers just could gobble her up.

Papparazzi, however, never did do a very good job and respecting anybody's safe distance so when Himself and Herself left a little nightclub the other night, his Royal Guards call for reinforcements. Suddenly two big vans full of more cops came 'round the corner.

Not only that, but now she's got protection when she goes to work. She's an accessories buyer for a chain of stores called Jigsaw. Ah, another super shopper will enter the family.

How nice.

I was trying to find HRG Catherine in the Christmas festivities with QE2, but she wasn't listed as present when the Queen went to church on Christmas in Sandringham, Norfolk.

I did learn from The Internet Forum that she was offered an invitation by QE2 to attend Christmas festivities at the Scotch place but a friend of hers is quoted in The Daily Mail as saying, "Kate would love to be with William on Christmas Day, and it was a huge honour for her to be invited, but she is very close to her family and wants to share Christmas with them."

So take that, Madam Queen -- and besides, I'm going to get a queenship of my own some day. So there.

So what did Kate give Wills? You're not going to believe this, but the rumours circulating about the island over there says she painted a nudie of him which he plans to hang in his bedroom. But that was for his 24th birthday, according to a wombat story. One can only imagine what he might have gotten for Christmas.

Supposedly, he's delighted. And QE2 thinks it's raunchy. After all, Kate and Wills aren't supposed to -- well -- know each other in that way.

For shame! For all the disgusting shame of it!

How could you do this, Kate?

Actually that naked portrait story is just gossip. We don't really know if it's totally true.  But just to be on the safe side, I'm not going back to London for many years. I'd probably be arrested on the spot for even saying the words out loud.

Hey, they're just a couple of blue blooded kids having some fun in the back corridors of the palace. In a galaxy far far away.

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U.S. ECONOMY STILL ROARING STRONG -- ADDING NEW JOBS EVERY MONTH

In December 2006, the new jobs added came to a very healthy un-puny 167,000!

So for the entire year of 2006, the economy added 1.8 million new jobs. Most of these jobs were in the business and service sectors.

The manufacturing section lost 12,000 jobs -- the factory draw just isn't there so much anymore.

Another section that lost jobs was the goods-producting section. It lost 11,000 jobs. Then the construction workers took a layoff for 3,000 workers in December.

I'm always curious about what that means for the kiddos of today because I see quite a few of them in counseling. When I ask them what they want to be when they grow up, they say things like basketball star, NFL player, video game maker, and other one-in-a-million waiting-to-be-discovered ways to make a living.

Okay, so they're only twelve and thirteen year olds and still have time to iron out the wrinkles in some of those dreams of fame and fortune. Reality checks will take care of some of that wistfulness.

As for the job losses in the sectors mentioned above, the big concern among American workers is all those jobs going overseas.

Just for comparison purposes, consider that the U.S. annual (at a federal minimum wage of $5.15 per hour) salary is $10,712. We're probably not ever going to see American workers making strings of Christmas tree lights when they can be made cheaper in China where the average annual pay comes to $3,004.

Keep in mind that there are 2,000 work hours in a year, so the average hourly pay for the United States worker is $5.35, while in China, it is $1.50. That equals cheap Christmas tree lights.

Would you be willing to up the $3.99 you paid at Walgreens for the lights to $14.23 per strand for the "made in America" string of lights?

But wait -- we can get the Christmas lights even cheaper if we order them from Thailand where the annual salary is $1,170 -- or $.58 an hour for their minimum wage. That would mean one strand of lights now would cost $922.41!

Just in case you might be wondering, the annual wage in the United Kingdom is at $19,098. Switzerland's annual wage is $28,911. Australia is at $20,315. And our old friend Borat, who claims to hail from Kazakhstan, would make $831 US. That compares to their poor neighbros in Azerbaijan who make $381 a year.

In part, many of the factory jobs are going overseas because the cheaper goods are sold in this country! There is a reason why people shop at the big box stores -- and it has everything to do with cheap stuff.

If you are getting tired of all the jobs going overseas, just buy only stuff that's made in America. That is, if you can find what you're looking for.

Truth of the matter is, if we all quit buying the cheap stuff that's made overseas, the market would evaporate and only the Made In American items would be left. Sure, we'd pay more -- a lot more -- but at least the jobs would come back to the U.S.

Somehow, I don't think that's going to happen.

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SO YOU'RE THE MOST POWERFUL WOMAN IN AMERICA! ENOUGH ALREADY, AUNT NANCY. NOW GET TO WORK!

Having power is one thing. Being gracious about it is something entirely different. Somehow that photo of Aunt Nancy holding a whip and reminding everybody (in the camera audience) that she is so powerful doesn't quite do it for me.

Isn't that a bit like crowing?

I will give her the moments of history that she has carved out for herself. She most certainly deserves some recognition for besting all those mega-squats who truly wanted the job she has.

But Nancy Pelosi managed to rise to the top of the heap.

I'm just going to stand over here in the quiet and watch to see what happens.

I have no doubt that ethics rules and reforms will pass the House handily.

I also have no doubt that there will be mountains of violations. It will come in the form of "Oops, my staff forgot to turn in that form. Shame on me. Sorry."

Somehow the lobbyists will figure out a way to spend more than a hundred dollars a year on lunches and goodies for the mega-squats.

The term fair market value may just have to go out the window. That could happen if definitions get re-calibrated to, say, a beef luncheon. That would be worth $.99. Wouldn't matter if it were a filet or a hamburger.

$1.49 would be the supersized version. That would include fries and a drink. Or -- a double-baked potatoe and a glass of really yummy vintage red wine. And not that stuff that comes in a box either.

I can just hear it now as these minnions get back to their offices, "Boy, that was the best cheeseburger I ever ate. It was so tender I could have cut it with a butter knife. I had no idea that restaurant even had hamburgers on the menu!" And someone else would pipe in with, "And how about those potatoes! The flavor was incredible. Cheesy-fries are my favorite!"

And so goes the $1.49 filet with a side of au gratin potatoes.

Anybody can put a fence of new rules up. But who is going to ride the range and look for breaches in the rules?

Who's going to do that? Surely not the people who stand to gain! We know that when it comes to politics, self-policing doesn't work.

In a country where politicians are ranked right up there with used car salesmen, the House Morals and Ethics Committee can't find anybody but beef eaters with their hands out.

Good luck anyway. I hope it works. I have faith in people. Some people. I have to keep telling myself, "There are some good people -- even in Maybeville."

But then, I've always been an eternal optimist.

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HERE'S THE 100-HOUR (LEGISLATIVE HOURS, THAT IS) PLAN FOR THE NEW AMERICA:

1. Clean up the House ethics rules.

2. Put the "pay as you go" budget rules back in place.

3. Adopt the 9/11 Commission recommendations.

4. Raise the federal minimum wage.

5. Promote embryonic stem cell research.

6. Negotiate lower Medicare drug prices

7. Reduce student loan interest rates

8. Repeal tax breaks for energy companies

Let's see now. The work week in Maybeville is very much different from what you and I are expected to put in.

They certainly don't work five days a week, or eight hours a day.

In fact, if they get to work on Tuesday and leave either late Thurday or early Friday, it might just take them until the middle of the summer before they get to their 100 legislative hours.

Oh, you thought that Aunt Nancy meant the first 100 hours of the 110th Congress? No no no no. That might have been what she said, but it clearly isn't what she meant.

For sure, they can get the first two items finished pretty quickly. Those require internal rule changes, something that Congress has the power to do right now.

Everything from #3 down to the end of the list will require both the Senate's approval and President Bush's as well.

Get ready for the ride. This is going to be an interesting couple of years. Then we get to vote for the 111th Congress.

Tuck this list away somewhere. Use it to keep score.

I'll help you keep track of how our illustrious elected officials/mega-squats are doing.

To be perfectly truthful, I wish them success. Mainly because they are just congress people. We -- you and I -- are the real government. The mega-squats are just sitting up there on Capitol Hill spewing forth all their self-absorbed pontifications.

When it comes to government, these United States belong to us -- you and me! We only let them sit up there at our pleasure. And we can bring them back down the steps if they don't do their jobs. Just remember that!

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ELEPHANT STORY FROM MY COUSIN ALICE STUBBE

In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephone standing with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.

Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephone trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.

Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years late, Mbembe was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son were standing.

The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

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WERE THESE SUBJECTS COVERED IN DRIVERS ED?

Quint and I are out on the expressways quite a bit. We continue to be amazed at driving habits that are illegal -- both in town and out on the road. We have come to the conclusion that maybe some of these habits are just not covered in drivers ed anymore.

Two hundred years ago when we were young, our kids went through drivers ed. And we were always so proud of how safe they were behind the wheel.

Driver laws are state laws -- though some laws are just universal. It doesn't matter where you're driving, the thinking is you ought to know better.

For instance, in Delaware there's such a law as the "move over" law. This law is meant to protect emergency workers.

It's not the same as "move to the right" law that requires you to give the right-of-way to emergency vehicles. You're actually supposed to come to a stop when you see an ambulance, fire truck, or squad car trying to get through traffic.

The "move over" law, however, means that you have to give the emergency workers a lot of extra space -- when they're on the side of the road and flashing their lights.

If you can't give the emergency workers the distance of a full lane, then you have to slow down significantly. "Significantly" does not mean slowing down from 90 mph to 80 mph, or even 70 mph.

In fact, just to be on the safe side, I would say "significantly" is defined by the officer who could pull you over and give you a ticket. He gets to decide if you have slowed down signficantly enough.

Crossing a double yellow line is also illegal. It doesn't matter if you do it all the time. You could get a ticket.

Same goes for driving in what I call fake islands. The road construction companies didn't build in enough money to actually put raised curbs where the yellow diagonal lines are. If you're driving in one of those approaches, you could get a ticket. Won't do you any good to shrug your shoulders and say, "I had no idea that was illegal."

The officer will just hand you your ticket and say, "Here's your sign."

Then your insurance premiums go up.

So you pay a ticket of, say $90 or so. Then the ticket eventually gets put on your driving record and your rate goes up.

One patient of mine actually had her insurance rate go up by about a hundred a month -- for a year. She was driving on those diagonal yellow lines and blew a traffic light. It was yellow before she entered the intersection, which is another no-no that traffic policemen don't like at all.

The other thing is about speeding. No speed above 70 mph is safe on the highway. If you just have this irresistible urge to open up your car, then move to a state where it's legal to put your life in jeopardy every time you get behind the wheel.

Yes, there are some states. Montana comes to mind. But it's during daylight hours and not on rainy or snowy days.

But on an expressway? You put your life in peril, not to mention the innocents who travel in the lane next to you.

Be safe!

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"NOT EVEN POVERTY COULD DIM THEIR LIGHT," SAYS OPRAH

Oprah was in South Africa to open her $40 million school for disadvantaged girls near Johannesburg.

Having come from poverty herself, Oprah has remained sensitive to the needs of impoverished people even as she became more and more successful.

Many of the young ladies are orphaned -- having lost parents to AIDS. They're often left to fend for themselves, as best as they can. But they couldn't go to school without a uniform.

Oprah more than generously stepped up to the plate and opened the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls. She told USA Today, "I wanted to give this opportunity to girls who had a light so bright that not even poverty could dim the light."

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THE ISLAM RADICALS NO LONGER CONTROL SOMALIA

Here's something else non-news readers need to know: The Ethiopians have been successful in running the al-Quaeda extremists out of power in Somalia. Now the regular, traditional Islam government can get back to the work of running their country.

And the radicals?

I think they ran over the hill.

Some left in boats.

Three of the guys heading out to somewhere in boats are very much wanted by the United States for bombings of a U.S. embassy a few years ago.

Remember that embassies in foreign countries are sovereign territories that belong to the country they represent. Bombing an embassy would be akin to walking up to our White House and throwing a bomb inside.

All right, so they want to do that too. But they'd be caught immediately so they take the chicken's way out -- they walk down the block and throw a bomb over the fence. Then they run away and hide. Back to their spider holes or wherever they live. Probably snake pits. Or maybe chicken coops.

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IRAN'S CAPTAIN MARMALADE SAYS HE'S GOING TO HUMILIATE U.S.

It's our fault -- supposedly -- at least according to Capt. Marmalade -- that the UN Security Council voted -- all 12 members -- to impose sanctions on Iran.

It wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that Iran has been told and told and told that having uranium power for energy is one thing -- using uranium to make a big fat bomb is something that the world powers wouldn't tolerate.

It hasn't been all that long ago when this man said that the United States did not have a single friend-country in all the world.

Out of the other side of his mouth, he is now saying that the United States was the influential power in the passage of the United Nations resolution that imposes sanction on the country that used to be called Persia -- Iran.

Now he says he's going to humiliate the United States. He says Iran knows how, he threatens. Iran has humiliated the United States before.

I'm guessing he's talking about the long siege of hostages that were taken when the Iranians overran the U.S. embassy in Tehran.

So even if you don't read the news, you ought to get just a smidgin' of daily headlines so you know what's going on in the world.

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TODAY IS A FEDERAL HOLIDAY AS WE REMEMBER GERALD R. FORD

The holiday is for banks, federal government offices like the post office, and schools.

So if you're wondering -- along about 11:00 a.m. -- why your mail hasn't arrived, this is why.

Former President Gerald R. Ford's funeral is at the National Cathedral this morning, then he will be taken to Michigan on Wednesday where he will be interred at his presidential library.

We have been watching the events surrounding the lying-in-state at the Capitol Rotunda, and the placing of wreaths as tributes and to my view, the real trooper here is his widow Betty Ford.

That poor lady. What she has endured in this past week. Getting through one service is hard enough for a widow, but there have been several, starting with the prayer service at their home church in California last week.

Then the national funeral this morning. And she still isn't done yet!

On to Michigan tomorrow.

That will be the most difficult, I would think. All these other events still left her with him. But on Wednesday, when he is interred, he will finally be taken from her grasp. I think that would be the hardest part.

But then, I'm only thinking of all the loved ones that Quint and I have buried. It's so hard to leave them behind and go on to somewhere else without our loved ones.

Our prayers are with Mrs. Betty Ford. What a lesson in endurance!

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HERE'S THE BOX OFFICE TALLY FROM BOXOFFICEMOJO.COM

Top movie draw again this week was Night at the Museum, taking in $46,700,000 for its second week. That brings the movie up to over $125,000,000 gross.

In second spot was Will Smith's The Pursuit of Happyness, in its third week with hefty ticket sales of $24,700,000, bringing it to a total of $103,746,000.

And in third place came Dreamgirls with $18,672,000 for its fifth week, for a total gross of $41,637,000.

Rocky Balboa fell to 6th place in its second week, with sales of $13,660,000. That brings the movie sales total to $51,132,000.

And Borat dropped to 19th place with sales of $1,025,000, bringing it to a total of $126,055,000. Not bad for a picture with an $18,000,000 budget. Guess we won't have to have a cookie sale for Kazakhstan.

Source: www.boxofficemojo.com